


Just A Light Year and A Day

by kaleidomusings



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family, Feelings, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10054574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidomusings/pseuds/kaleidomusings
Summary: Finn expects to die when Kylo Ren slices through his back and leaves him prone face first in the snow.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Tumblr prompt, "endings".

Finn expects to die when Kylo Ren slices through his back and leaves him prone face first in the snow.

It’s actually more a surprise that he _isn’t_ dead. Ren’s violent reputation and the fact other Stormtroopers (sometimes even officers) never came back after delivering bad news to him were legendary. A fatal blow like the one he dealt to Finn’s spine should have killed him, but it doesn’t.

Instead he dreams. He dreams of his life before meeting Poe and Rey: how he was the best of his squad. How he had Phasma’s approval, so much so that he would probably have been made an officer someday, but so alone. He dreams of Slip and the others, who were the closest thing he had to a family, although he never really fit in with them. There was always a nagging thought at the back of his mind that what the First Order taught may not be true after all, that helping other people wasn’t wrong. And the fear and unease he felt every day grew and grew into something twisted up inside of him until Slip was reaching up to swipe his bloodied fingers against Finn’s helmet.  

He dreams of Chewbacca, who almost murdered him while tending to his injuries and later growled what Finn assumed was an apology, and the war hero Han Solo murmuring a soft spoken, “Good job, kid.” Finn even dreams of Maz Kanata with her too keen eyes and General Organa’s overwhelming presence, despite how old and frail their tiny bodies seemed to be. Finn also dreams of BB-8, the brave little droid he grew so fond of from the moment it mimicked his thumbs up, even if it zapped him with its taser probe a few times. He’s never seen that kind of loyalty in a droid before and wonders if -deep down in their circuits and code- droids have souls.

Another prominent figure in his dreams is Rey, because of course she would be. He dreams of her beautiful smile, how right it felt when she wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. How big and earnest her eyes were when she told him not to leave. Her scream when Ren threw her through the air and into a tree, knocking her unconscious. Once he dreams that she kisses his brow before saying goodbye with an earnest promise to return, although it’s hard to say whether that was wishful thinking on his part or something that really happened.

Most of all, he dreams of Poe. Poe, who gave him a chance when he had every reason not to trust a Stormtrooper like him. He dreams of Poe giving him a name and sense of belonging. He dreams of the loss he felt when he thought Poe died on Jakku, and the relief that overwhelmed him when they were reunited again. He dreams of their embrace and the warmth he felt deep down in his chest when Poe insisted that Finn keep his jacket. Sometimes he even dreams of Poe gripping his arm while they wheel him to the med bay, murmuring reassurances and “Hang on, buddy.”

When Finn opens his eyes at last, he feels the same way he did under Jakku’s relentless sun, dropping piece after piece of his armor in the hot sand like a lizard shedding its skin. He hurts all over and can barely move, but he’s free. He’s free, he’s free, _he’s free_ –

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Poe says, with a trembling grin and dark circles under his eyes.

It suddenly occurs to him that he doesn’t have to be afraid anymore. Instead, he’s overflowing with so much love that it takes everything he has to fight the urge to cry.

He’s alive and he’s free.

–- 

There’s a part of him that misses a family he can’t remember, but -if there’s anything Finn has learned these past several months- is that family doesn’t just mean the people who share the same blood. Family are the people who make the galaxy a little brighter and life a little more worth living just by being there. And Finn has been the outsider for so long, the only one without a name, that the idea of having people who love him is frightening. But once he realizes that he can love them right back without punishment, he can’t seem to stop himself even if he wanted to.

He starts helping out at the medbay, because Major Kalonia is always nice to him and is one of the few people he was comfortable speaking to in the beginning, when everyone was still wary of him and not quite sure if they could trust him. She teaches him how to dress wounds and identify symptoms when someone is sick, and after a while he starts helping out when he can. Usually he’ll bring her a cup of caf just to see her grateful smile.

When he sees the Wookie again, Finn says, “Thanks for taking care of me, Chewie. And I’m really sorry about Solo.” He knows all about Chewbacca carrying him off Starkiller’s freezing planet and into the waiting arms of the Resistance’s medics, so he doesn’t protest when he’s gathered against a furry chest and squeezed tightly, because he feels the same way. He barely even knew the man, but he already mourns the loss of Han Solo, a man he barely knew but deeply respected. He can only imagine what it’s like for Chewbacca.

There’s also the Resistance pilots, who unofficially adopt him as one of their own. Snap Wexley and Jessika Pava visit him frequently while he’s healing, bringing him an old datapad filled with things to read and games to play while Jessika tries not to look overeager whenever he mentions Rey. Kare Kun and Iolo Arana stop by too, telling him funny stories about their commander before and after joining the Resistance that makes the tips of Poe’s ears turn red. There are others too, but he doesn’t actually meet them until he starts hanging out at the hangar. They teach him about repairing X-wings and how to fly them, and the very first time he takes one up into the sky, there’s a crowd of people cheering for him when he lands.

He discovers that a newfound love for tea, something he shares with General Organa, so every once in a while they’ll share a cup together during the quiet hours of the night when neither of them can sleep. Usually they don’t speak during those times, but when they do she’ll tell him stories about Han and her father, Bail Organa.

“You remind me of him,” she admits one night, when his fingers tremble around his cup from a particularly bad nightmare. One where Ren killed Rey and there was nothing he could do to stop him.

“Which one?”

She doesn't answer, but he knows who she means all the same.

Leia Organa can always tell when a man wants to run.

The worst thing about it is that it would be so easy. Now that Finn knows how to fly a ship, he could disappear into the Outer Rim and never be seen again. But whenever the thought comes up, he always dismisses it, because he’s not going to leave his friends when they need someone to watch their back.

He starts taking holo pictures on the datapad of everyone he’s grown close to since waking up from his coma. He says it’s for Rey, and maybe in the beginning it is, but even after she brings back the legendary Luke Skywalker and is around the Resistance base more, he realizes that it’s mainly for himself. He flips through the holos one by one, mesmerized by all the faces that aren’t hidden beneath a helmet. He’s smiling at a picture of Jessika and Rey crouching down with BB-8 cuddled between them, when Poe finds him in their room.

Poe kisses his cheek and slings an arm around his shoulders with a smile of his own. “You look happy.”

“I am happy,” he replies and realizes that it’s the honest truth.

He’s not alone anymore. He has friends and a family, and that’s more than he could have ever hoped for.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading! Kudos and comments make me super happy so please leave some below!
> 
> The title comes from “Neverland” by Zendaya.


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